I have a middle schooler now, which provides more opportunity than I thought I needed to practice the power of words and intention (this is, after all, my second go ’round!) What I find helpful in times when, ahem, we aren’t quite communicating at our highest levels, is to think of rice. Not just any rice, but rice (as pictured below) that has been subjected to negative or positive words.
In case you haven’t read about this in Already Here yet, on pages 116-118 I discuss research by the brilliant Dr. Emoto that creatively illustrates how words visually alter stuff our eyes can see. He conducted an easily-done-at-home experiment with two containers of white rice. One was “treated” with kind words, the other with unkind words. The rice that received loving vibes stayed beautifully pristine. The rice that essentially “got yelled at” became schmutzy. You can find varying degrees of shmutziness-proof if you Google “Emoto rice experiment,” but the results mostly lean the same direction. Rice likes being treated kindly.
At first it seems surprising—impossible, even—that rice could respond to emotions (AKA our energy). We do know the human version, though. We’ve all probably felt the downward energy shift after a blurted salvo of accusations or any form of not-so-kindliness. We’ve also, no doubt, basked in the energetic afterglow of generosity, gratitude, and Love (given and received…they’re actually the same thing).
Remembering all this makes it even more meaningful that I not bombard my beautiful pre-teen son with my own inability to witness his un-schmutziness, in spite of what things look like in the moment. So, when my darling, hilarious, joy-filled, glorious son forgets his innate perfection in loud and spikey ways, I try to remind myself to look past the forgetful behavior to his Real Truth!
It is not always easy, and I am not always successful. And let me be clear: by “successful,” I do NOT mean that my redhead has suddenly experienced a personality transplant and skips downstairs (while whistling) to pick up the backyard dog poop before the need even crosses my mind. Success has nothing to do with his momentary behavior. “Success” in this scenario is me maintaining an unwavering focus and my own equanimity (or, finding it quickly if it had thoughts of taking a vacation!) By doing that, I can model behavior that precludes yelling as default mode, and, moreover, keep myself in a Loving place, which is so much more the Truth of me than anger (ahh, the irony of this lesson!!!)
I’m hoping to report soon that my constancy of attitude, and imperturbability have (finally!) been practiced to the point of mastery. Read: my son no longer provides me with surprisingly frequent chances to remember our Truth. In the meantime, I will attempt gratitude (rather than irritation or self-censure) for the opportunities to hone my skills.
 Very interestingly, there are also experimenters who set out to disprove the power of sent Love. I’m not sure why people feel threatened by information that demonstrates our ability to change the world with our Loving thoughts...